| Familiar smell and the case of the old new person. |
[Mar. 22nd, 2009|06:30 am] |
It was a cloudy Tuesday afternoon when two shadowy figures stepped into the house carrying large bags. The first person I recognised as my mother, tall with squirrely hair, but the second one I did not know immediately. Worried about the motives of this mysterious figure, I darted under the bed and waited patiently to see if this person stayed and, if they did, what they would do.
I waited until nightfall, when the house was quiet, before venturing out from my saftey. I wandered over to the office, where the mysterious figure was sleeping, and smelled the air outside the door. Something seemed different. Maybe it was the smell coming from the litter box? Something seemed to linger on the tip of my head, something I'd experienced before.
Pondering on what the smell was and who this person could be, I ate, drank and returned to the office door for another smell before I pooped in the litterbox. I retreated to the bedroom once more, this time sleeping with my mom, all the time wondering about the strange smell.
The next morning, when the mysterious figure was out, I thought I would take a look to see if I could remember anything in concordance with the strange smell coming from the office last night. I was a bit scared at first, and my mom was surprised to see me out, but I couldn't ignore the fact that I have smelled this person before... but I can't put my paw on it still.
I test the mysterious figure and cautiously go to eat and drink. She doesn't move, but she sees me. It is as though she doesn't care. My little brother, Zissou, is fawning over the figure like Garfield fawns over lasagne. Cats are funny about their interests; I'm glad I don't exhibit such reckless behavior, since I'm a trained bounty hunter, I know better than to trust people immediately.
Watching Zissou lay in this person's lap I closed my eyes to let the smell rush my head. Bingo. It dawned on me that the smell is familiar because I have, indeedn, smelled this mysterious figure before, three years prior.
It was in my old house when it was just my mom and me, in Memphis, TN. This person wasn't just another mysterious figure, but my mom's friend, Claire. Having realised this, I went over to say hello and apologise for being scepticle of her being here.
Another case solved, no gun-slinging needed. Mrew. |
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| Shoot me now. |
[Mar. 10th, 2009|09:47 am] |
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Zissou has been running around the house all morning like some sort of meth addict. I have no idea what his deal is, but it's really annoying. I was trying to snuggle with mom this morning since she's home, but he kept pouncing me and I couldn't stand it so I ended up chasing him around the bedroom and he was knocking things over. Super annoying. Now the guests are up, so I'm hiding in the bedroom again. Poo poo. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 9th, 2009|06:34 am] |
I just kicked ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) stevesyzissou off of the computer so I could post.
Speaking of, that's my little brother. As most little brothers are, he has too much energy, too much time and is extremely annoying. I'll be minding my own business, just chilling out doing my own thing and all the sudden this black DEVIL jumps out of no where, on to ME while I'm watching TV or something like "HAI HAI HAI" and I'm like "NO NO NO," but he doesn't get it.
Don't get me wrong, I love him and we play together a lot, too. Whenever we wrestle, I always win. A few weeks ago, he pissed me off so I got him in a head lock and accidentally bit too hard so he got a boo-boo but it's all scabbed and healed now, aside from the bald spot there, but it's growing hair slowly.
We have guests over at the house so Zissou has been sleeping with them, which means I can have mom and dad all to myself again. I don't really like guests because I'm leary of who they are, where the come from, their motives, etc. I hide under the dresser all day until night when I can get something to eat and drink and poop. Man, it's hard to not poop all day, let me tell you. Anyway, so I've been doing that and then cuddling all night until my parents go to work at like 5:30 in the morning.
Right now I'm on the couch where Zissou had the computer and I think I here one of those people getting up, so I'm going to finish this post to go back under the dresser. |
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| It's been a while. |
[Oct. 7th, 2008|09:05 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | living room | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Magic Numbers - Take a chance | ] |
I took an unexpected leave of absence from my blog to save babies from burning buildingz. That's right, I'm a reskew kitty.
Okay, no, not really. I have no meowscuses other than I'm just fat and happy. A lot has happened since my last post, many moons ago.
Let's see... I go outside regularly now and all summer I helped mom and dad water flowers and I ate their grass they're trying to grow. Since I've been going outside, I've gotten more athletic to the point that these human things actually notice. I've also made a lot of friends outside and even gotten into some trouble. If I stay out too late or too long, I'm stuck out; I hide on the porch near the door when I'm scared or if it's raining.
I got a new collar; it has a felt bird on it, which is cute but also annoying ironic. We've taken trips places; most recently we went to Oregon where I got to play with kitty cousins. And by play I mean avoid, growl at, hide from or maintain distance from while playing.
Lately, I've been spending my time in a basket on the window in the bedroom. We used to have two skirrels but now there is three of them; I like to watch them and play peek-a-boo with the little one.
I got a new dish thingy-doo. It's like this... big... thing. Or something. It has this water and it like... spurts out and trickles down this thing into a thing where I get it. I don't quite have a handle on it but I like it since there's fresh water. One time I was pawing at the big thing and knocked it over and mama got mad and had to put it back together; I got water all over. I was just curious! Anyway, this doo-dad also has a place for goosheh foodz; I like eating. It doesn't hold as much as my old dish so I have to meow more when it's empty -- which is rare because mom and dad take pretty good watch on it. I also got these new green treats which mama says I need to chew. I like to swallow them whole. They're sposed to like help my teef or something and that's why mama wants me to chew but they're so tastey! She says they don't do any good for my teefs if I don't chew them. :/ I have pretty teef, though, the evil lady at the doctor always says so whenever I go in.
I'm going to go sit on dad's face now. ^_^ |
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| Oi With the Poodles |
[Apr. 13th, 2008|07:35 am] |
Pictures? Oh, yeah. One day.
Mom let me outside yesterday. Correction: Mom picked me up and took me outside yesterday. I thought it was a trick when she set me down in some grass. It wasn't. She followed, at a distance, as I explored. It was weird.
I ran back to the door wanting in and she said, "That's what I thought, so why do you run out?"
I have no idea, because I'm a rebellious kitty who can? |
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| Fleas. |
[Apr. 3rd, 2008|08:00 am] |
I gots them.
Mom and dad took me to the vet a couple days ago. Yuck. I have to take this stupid medicine, one pill and this naaaaaaasty liquid stuff. Whatever. As long as it makes me stop scratching because it's super annoying.
In other mews, mom putt a fleece blanket up on my spot on the window in their bedroom. It's soft. It's cuddly. And I totally love it. I need that blanket like there is no tomorrow. I'm pretty sure the blanket loves me back.
In sadder mews, I found out one of my incestual cousins was murdered by a dog. That's to the Chaz Figure for that one.
Cheers.
P.S. Hot sexy cat pictures of yours truly, coming soon. |
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| Oh, what? |
[Mar. 30th, 2008|07:41 am] |
What? What? Like you don't get busy?
Mom and dad moved me (again) and I love this new playground. They got this new bed that I sleep on all day and its got a great crawl space underneath. I like to lick up the water in the shower and have my butt scratched. There's nothing wrong with being busy having said butt scratches instead of being online.
Speaking of butt scratches, I've got some sort of... itchy problem. I'm like missing a huge chuck of hair on my tookus from scratching. Ick. I have a looming feeling that I'll have to go have a stick stuck in my bum by a strange lady in order to get better, which does -not- make me happy.
Mom and I have been sleeping a lot. She's ultra cuddly. Dad kind of smells like butt, which I normally appreciate, but this is like... nasty booty. D:
Anyway, I'm only here to prove I've not been put on a skewer and eaten. I've got naps to take, you know. |
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| Busy Kitty |
[Jan. 21st, 2008|11:45 am] |
I've been busy. Busy being fat and happy, lounging around with mom and dad. They have been home more and that's kind of spoiled me. When mom got up to get ready for work I sat and watched her and she cuddled me a lot before they left.
I've been staring out the window all day. It's pretty bright outside considering it rained all day yesterday and was grey as can be. It's a nice break from the gloom of this season.
I've been working out more. I've been regularly chasing this feather-string and all these mice toys laying around as well as bottle caps. I like the noise they make when they bounce off of things. I was running laps last night from the bedroom into the living room and back again. I was wheezing a little bit so mama made me stop and we played Animal Crossing together.
Anyways, I guess I should go eat and I'll most likely take a nap as I enjoy sleeping. :D |
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| Dun-dun-dunnnn. |
[Jan. 6th, 2008|11:20 am] |
I've spread my face on the internets.
More to come! |
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| Mew By Mew. |
[Jan. 3rd, 2008|03:06 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | John Lennon - Look At Me | ] |
Meow, meow.
Today mom took down the toys from the tree thing. I was sad, but I was a good kitty and helped her take wrap up the lighted string. For whatever reason, she didn't want me help, so I went and played with this long feather thing she put on my condo.
It's like a giant dark blue feather-string of -paradise-. I wrapped myself up in it, and mom thought that was funny. I played with it and walked around with a piece I tore off in my mouth. I like to throw it up and catch it mid-air.
Anyway, I tired myself out and now I'm chillin' out on the couch. Mom's taking away all the things she puts out this time of year. Some voodoo stuff she says is for "Bodhi Day" or something. I don't know, I sometimes think she's a witch or something. I just know it's all in a box now and that the next thing to go will be the tree-thing.
Not a lot to do today. I've made a list of things, though:
- take big poop
- scratch around in litter box
- stuff my face
- take a bath
- look out the window
- chase the feather string
- snuggle dad
- make mom brush me
- stretch and do catisthenics
- rinse and repeat
I'm off to a great start since I've done all these things already... just need to do them again. Mom always says that practice makes purrfect.
She also says this weirder thing: pawtience and compawsure are the queen's jewels. I don't know who this queen person is or why she has jewels and I don't but I think it means to wait for the mouse to come to you.
Mom so wise. -__- |
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| Clean, clean, clean. |
[Dec. 31st, 2007|12:05 pm] |
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Mom and dad got home earlier than normal yesterday, which was sweet. We took a nap on the couch and then they cleaned up.
Mama even changed my litterbox! I showed my appreciation by taking a nice big poop in it right after while she watched. They cleaned up and mama cleaned dad's bathroom because she hates how messy it gets even though she never really goes in there. She did laundry too and buried me in clothes!
Mama danced around in the living room and shook me around to some awesome rock that was like hardcore Bob Dylan XXX. We like to dance but sometimes she makes me sick. Mostly it just hypes me up and I run around trying to climb up her legs.
They got me this super awesome toy that's like two cupcakes on string attacked to a stick. Straight away I ripped off one of the hearts off of the cupcake and tackled the stuffing out of them, and mom was quite pleased with me. We played this game where she throws toys at my face and I dodge them then tackle them. That's probably like the best game ever, except this one time she used these Jolly Rancher things and hit me in my fscking eye. She felt pretty bad about it and I was okay but whenever she gets mad at me I just wink that eye and remind her of the incident. Bwahah.
I guess that's about it for now. I'm just chillin' 'round the house and scrapping in my clean litterbox. I've also been climbing the walls in the living room and evading shadow-captures. All-in-all it's been a pretty good day.
Oh, and mom and dad got me a new different food again, which is swell. They're kind of mixing stuff together now which is nice because it gives me more variety. I snuck some cheese today they accidentally left out. Mmm cheddar.
Mom mentioned something about a t-shirt yesterday, too, and she better not stuff me in another one. I only like that argyle sweater she got me, that t-shirt was trash. It didn't breathe well, oddly enough, like the sweater does.
I kind of need a bath. I feel greasey. Also, I'm way into watching mom play Animal Crossing. Last night she just doing this fascinating there where she plucked up thingys and it made this funny sound. It was great. |
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| It was against the lawl! |
[Dec. 24th, 2007|08:30 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard - Paul Simon | ] |
Mama got this song stuck in my head. It makes me want to attack the tree-thing. RAWR.
I've been playing in this box all morning and I thought I wanted to go back and play in it after that last entry but I'm still too tired. Boxcavating is a hard, dirty job. Ooh, maybe I should call Mike Rowe about that, "This is Mike Rowe, and today on Dirty Jobs we'll be with Miss Faye Valentine going BOXCAVATING outside Seattle." That would be so hardcore.
It's like a huge box, too. Mama's brother put a big box inside of that one with a bag over it. I want both the second box and its bag. Then I can make a -tent- which would mean good times. I could, like, do some major gun-slinging in a tent. I could take you down to Chinatown, you cracker-cats!
I'm hungry. I want cuddles and no one is home. I really like this red blankey. I also really like napping on the keyboard of this laptop because it warms up to match my body heat.
I guess I'll take a nap here then go boxcavating some more. |
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| Do. Not. Want. |
[Dec. 24th, 2007|07:17 am] |
What the crap is THIS?? Do not want!!!
In other meows, I've composed a letter to my daddy:
Dear Daddy,
Do you not love me anymore? Am I not cuddly enough for you, or something? Do you hate me? You haven't cleaned my litterbox, seriously, for like two or three weeks. It's really nasty. Really. You and mom have that agreement where you get the litterbox, and she get's everything else. I thought you liked peeing with me. I thought you liked keeping me clean and happy. I thought wrong. ;_;
Please, please, please clean my litterbox. I'm tired of standing in pee-pee pine when I wee-wee. I really do. Mom got that fancy litter box for the fancy litter and everything, and all you do is scoop my poop. My paws are dirty. Mom wants to give me a bath but she can't because I'd just get covered in pee again. Once you change my litter, mama can give me a bath so I can be pretty again.
Maybe then I'll start cuddling you more at night instead of sitting on the window.
Love,
Faye Valentine |
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| Kitty Whiskers |
[Dec. 16th, 2007|06:16 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | frisky | ] |
So my parents are at work and that means I get to climb the tree thing while they're gone. This morning I was sleeping on mom's head and then I looked out the window for a while. Mom and I have divised a system where I ask her if I can get up on the perch and she moves the blinds for me so I can get up quietly so dad doesn't wake up. It's a pretty good system because we don't wake up dad, mom is usually not sleeping anyway, and whenever I can't quite make the jump, mom lifts me up by the butt to give me a boost.
Yesterday I slept a lot in some of my favorite places. There's under the couch, of course, then behind the dryer, on mom's pillow, in the top floor of my condo with that nice warm sheet mama put in there, and then back under the couch. When mom got home yesterday she went to sleep and I snuggled her since she was cold. I'm pretty sure that I would make a fabulous hat.
There isn't a whole lot going on, but I think mom and dad only work part of the day tomorrow... every seven moons they usually have home-time. That should be good. Mom really needs to do laundry and don't get me started about dad cleaning the kitchen. I keep farting on the garbage spot to make it smell better, but they still don't appreciate it.
Anyways, like I said, they're gone now so I think I'm going to tackle the tree and hope they don't notice any toys that go missing from it. |
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| Bah-bahbah-baahh. |
[Dec. 14th, 2007|10:39 am] |
I slept through yesterday. That was awesome.
I've been lounging around all morning, too. I've had a bit of the sneezles, but nothing major. Mom and I cuddled a lot last night. I got all up in dad's face, too, but he didn't appreciate the warm apple pie smell radiating from my bum. Mom teased me with some bouncy string things.
I think I'll go chow down on some foodies, look out the window for a while, climb in the tree-thing and play with those toys (the tree almost fell over last night and mom got real mad), and then take a nap under the couch until mom and dad get home.
I wonder if Santa Claws cleans his whiskers daily. |
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| Lazy Days |
[Dec. 12th, 2007|05:20 pm] |
Today was pretty chill. I tried to get up on the window in the bedroom to keep the moonlight out of my parents' eyes and kept getting smacked for it like usual. I slept on mom's head because she looked cold and ended up pushing her off the pillow, completely by accident.
I was pretty gassy until I went and took a big smelly dump in the litter box for my dad to find later. I went and sat next to mom meowing for her to get up, which she did. We went into the living room and cuddled for a while, then I went and sat on my perch looking outside for an hour.
Dad finally got up and we all snuggled and watch some tv. I tried to drink out of this bowl of flavored water sitting by the sink but dad kept getting mad at me for it, I don't know why. They left to go get some late breakfast and came back to eat and snuggle.
Mom was mad most of the afternoon about something and some dude that was giving her fluff about something, I don't know. She and dad went to the store and then when she came back she brushed me for a while; she seemed much happier when they got home which was nice.
Now I'm just chilling out under the couch watching dad stuff his face with some sandwich. I'll probably take a nap and play with that ribbon mom has. I like it when they're home, but dad is always getting on my case about stuff. I'm just trying to help out. |
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| To: Santa From: Cat |
[Dec. 11th, 2007|05:03 pm] |
Dear Santa Claws,
I've heard that you go around giving away free stuff whenever people put up those lighted trees with the toys hanging on them. I really like those trees because they smell good, taste good and help you poop, and have the toys and shiny things that you can bat around. I don't understand why mom and dad put one up and don't let me play with it or drink the water from the bowl, I do that stuff when they aren't around anyway.
Mama came home today and she's so stupid because she thinks I don't speak human, but it's pretty obvious there is something in a bag for me when dad asks "what's in the bag?" and she says "something for the c-a-t." ...Mom, -I'm- the c-a-t. I know there is something in there for me. At least she's smart enough to have dad put it on the top shelf in the closet so I can't see.
I guess why I'm writing to you is because I hear you make dreams and wishes and stuff come true. I was doing some for srsly thinking and I would like to tell you what I would like this year for mom-and-dad-put-a-tree-up-day. Before I do that, however, I like to demonstrate how good I have been the past year, because I read that that's what you're supposed to do in order to get this stuff, is be a good cat.
In the last year, I've only missed the litter box a couple of times and never on purpose, I've made friends with other animals, I cuddled my mama when she had her leg fixed, I helped dad take care of mom, I kept dad's lap warm when he was using the human litter box, and I've made the smell of the garbage in the kitchen go away by masking it with my farts, which smell like warm apple pie.
I promise to be a good kitty for the next year and the year after. I would very much appreciate it if this year you could keep making my mommy and daddy happy. When my parents are happy, I'm happy. And I get a little sister, which is what I really want.
Thank you very much.
Love,
Miss Faye Valentine
P.S. I'll help drink the milk mama leaves out for you since I know after so many glasses you must get tired of it. Don't worry, I don't mind. |
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| Etomology of a cat. |
[Dec. 10th, 2007|07:52 am] |
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So yesterday I helped my mom get ready for work and saw my parents out the door. I had my usual breakfast of Friskies® Feline Favorites®, which I really need to stop scarfing, and then played with my water for a while.
I hung out in the top floor of my condo and looked out the window until I fell asleep. Sometime in the afternoon I woke up and played with a feather teather toy, ate some more, played in my water, and then took a nap under the couch until mom and dad came home.
I really like naps under the couch. It's dark and cool, and convenient to both the heater, so I'm warm enough and not too hot, and the entry hall, so when my parents come home I can just crawl out and stretch my back legs until one of them comes to pick me up and stretch out my arms.
Anyways, they got home and had Taco Bell so we sat on the couch and I had some nachos with them and then we took a nap. A couple hours later mom kept moving and woke me up; they left and I didn't know why, but they came back with ice cream so I got to have some of that, which was awesome.
Pretty much for the rest of the evening they each did their own thing and I went back and forth between helping dad play a computer game while keeping his lap warm and then making mom brush me as she was trying to watch tv.
Mom and I went to bed and we played with this cotton ribbon for a while. I like cotton ribbons best because they're easy to get my claws into, have a nice texture, and are weightier than satin for better chasing. This one is wider, too, so it makes it easier for me to catch, not that I'm not an expert mouser.
I got tired out after a while, so I went and scratched around my litter box for a while and then cleaned myself on the foot of my parents' bed. I then stole my mom's pillow and proceeded to pass out on her head.
All in all it was pretty productive. |
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